Synchronized Elation

Posted by JohnA Passaro on


As parents of wrestlers we all know the range of emotions we go through during the year, and especially in the post-season.

Hope, hurt, elation, pride, sadness.

It’s a roller-coaster ride with your hands up in the air on a cycle of ups, downs, twists, turns. A total loss of emotional control that we beg for it to stop, and when it does we immediately run back to get on the ride to experience it all over again.

This is having one kid competing.

Imagine having two wrestlers competing at the same time.

There is a new emotion that I have encountered and named and it’s – Sappy.

Literally being sad and happy at the same time.

That’s when one of your sons wins and the other does not.

You’re simultaneously

50% Sad and 50% happy.

Every parent who has had two wrestlers wrestling at the same time know this emotion is the most difficult to experience.

The happy side feels guilty that your happy, and the sad side is absolutely hurting.

Unless you have experienced Sappy you don’t understand the degree that this emotion drains you.

As a parent you always adjust yourself to the child that needs you the most, so the happy gets sacrificed for the sad.

No brother combination ever wants to be the brother on the happy side feeling so good while seeing his sibling feeling so bad.

Now imagine if you had twins wrestling at the same time.

The degree of Sappy gets exponentially increased due the the fact your sons are so Synchronized in all that they do.

Last night, before the D2 State finals, all I asked from the Universe was to be kind.

Last year when both Luke and Jack Bokina were state finalists and experienced the same emotions, my initial emotional reaction was – “I’m so glad they didn’t experience SAPPY”

So when Luke Bokina won his state championship last night at 132 pounds, I sat there for the next 20 minutes asking the Universe for the same favor again this year.

Twenty minutes later Jack Bokina also became a New York State Champion @ 145 pounds.

At that moment I defined a new emotion call Synchronized Elation.

I am extremely happy for Luke and Jack for their State Championships.

But I can’t express the degree of happiness I have for the Bokina family as they get to feel Synchronized Elation.


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