Life is hard.
Sometimes, life will throw you a curve.
When it does, the solution is easy; you just learn to hit a curve.
But what do you do when life throws you a grenade instead?
One that goes off, disrupts and destroys nearly every aspect of your life.
A death, divorce, a diagnosis – a random act of violence.
You wake up one day, and your current life is no reflection of the life you once knew.
When this happens, I’m not going to tell you everything is going to be alright.
That is going to be up to you.
You are going to have to fight.
And even after you win the fight, the term ‘alright’ is going to take on a whole new meaning to you.
What I will tell you is to buckle up because it is going to hurt like hell.
For that, I do know.
You are going to experience a hurt more intense than you can ever imagine.
Enough to paralyze you.
And when you do learn how to move again, you will be at your breaking point.
Many times over.
The pain will be enough to fill your every thought with quitting and throwing in the towel.
When you get pushed to the edge, to your breaking point, instead of using a period in your life, use a semi-colon.
Pause, but then go on.
There is more story left to write.
More life to live.
More love to feel.
Hang in there.
Tread water for as long as you can.
And even longer if you have to.
Endurance requires purpose.
Purpose requires love.
The best day in your life hasn’t been lived as of yet.
You need to believe that.
Kindness in the universe will find you.
As you sit there looking around at the destruction in your life, what you do not yet realize is the adversity you have experienced, although devastating, has secretly given you a gift.
A gift so valuable, you will never want to relinquish it.
Although this gift is available to everyone, everyone’s too busy to recognize it.
They say, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
You are now ready.
At first, you may not see anything.
But I can assure you the teacher is present.
Your ascension from the depths of despair to the heights of euphoria is about to begin.
Right now you can only see the ways your life has changed for the worse.
Those changes are quite obvious.
The good news, and yes there is good news, is your life has the possibility to change for the better.
It is a universal law that when the universe takes something of value from you, it must give you the gift of the ‘seed of something greater’ in return.
One day, I don’t know when, probably sometime after all your human emotions have run their course, you will come face to face with your gift of the ‘seed of something greater.’
What you do with that seed will be totally up to you.
You can plant and nourish the seed and experience the miracle of its growth, or you can pay it no attention and allow its fruit to die, even before it gets to the vine.
Make your choice wisely.
The quality of your life depends on it.
This seed is the greatest gift you will ever be given in your life.
You don’t know that as of yet.
But you will in time.
If there is anything you ever trust again – trust in the fact that this seed if planted, will produce boundless fruit in your life.
The fruit you never knew existed.
Fruit that will nurture you back to health.
You have paid the full price for this fruit.
You might as well be nourished by it.
I will not insult you and say the fruit is in any way a fair exchange for what you have lost.
Or even that you should be grateful for the exchange.
And I know it is not an exchange you sought, and one if given the choice, one you would undue.
But when all is said and done, you have two choices.
You can open and use the gift.
That is up to you.
The exchange may not be what you want in your life right now.
But it is what you have.
And it is much more valuable than you know.
I have never met a person who experienced a life-changing event whoever wanted to give back their new found perspective on life.
I know you do not believe that to be true.
I believe, in time you will.
For, inside the gift lives what you lost.
And opening the gift is the only way to keep what you lost alive.
Rebuilding your life makes its spirit flourish.
And that spirit goes out into the universe to help others.
I believe that.
I know right now you want to lie down amongst the rubble in your life, to just blend into the destruction.
They say the greatest mistake is in giving up.
It is your duty to build again.
The normal reaction will be to try to rebuild a life exactly as the one you had before the grenade went off.
That will prove futile.
As you rebuild, if you attempt to replicate your past life you will realize if you rely on the pieces the grenade destroyed, you will come up short in comparison, as gaps and holes will emerge in your new structure, and the result will look nothing like your life before the grenade hit.
The key is to rebuild, not to replicate.
Obviously, there will be pieces of your life that will be missing.
You are going to need to be resourceful; to do more, with less.
As you rebuild, your newfound perspective on life will be your greatest asset.
And the rubble will miraculously transform into a foundation on which you will build anew.
J.K. Rowling profoundly said, “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”
It can be done.
You should do it.
It is worth it.
Every day is a new life.
There is a whole life waiting.
No, it will not be the same.
It can’t be.
Integral pieces are missing.
But it will be enough to make this moment matter.
And, matter it does.
Do not attempt to make answers to your unanswerable questions the prerequisite to your happiness.
I promise you what you do not currently understand, one day you will.
You need to believe that.
Your effort is better utilized teaming up with trust, belief, faith, and love.
So pick up the first shattered piece of your life and attach it to the next.
Glue them together with love.
Keep doing that.
That is how you to build again.
To live again.
To care again.
To be you again.
What do you do when it happens to you?
No matter how hard it is.
You love again.
You love deeper.
For the only remedy for a lost love is to love more.
Do not act like love is a rare commodity which needs to be rationed to preserve its existence.
It does not.
Quite the opposite.
Love is infinitely abundant.
Give it away and you will find that it multiplies and replenishes itself.
Hold onto it and it withers away.
Share it and you will have an endless supply.
I needn’t remind you that life is one thing, then in an instant, it is something else.
But the beauty of life is that it works both ways.
When nothing is certain, everything is possible.
For every doubt, there is an equivalent belief.
Doubt your doubts.
Believe your beliefs.
Whatever it is that you are going through I sincerely hope you get to the other side.
Where do you start?
With every aspect of your life in disarray, one can very easily succumb to despair.
Au contraire mon frère.
The way you start the processes of healing and rebuilding is to just appreciate one thing.
Just one thing.
Then repeat indefinitely.
Look around, you can do it.
Appreciation is the bridge to gratitude.
And gratitude is the path to the other side.
Appreciation and gratitude will lead you to view life with a new perspective.
The combined effects of appreciation and gratitude are exponentially dynamic and will send you on a path to:
Appreciate the ordinary.
Always be in the moment.
Allow nature to be your muse.
The wind will whisper to your soul.
Listen, trust, act.
Listen to your inner self.
Be still and allow the answers you seek to find you.
It will lead you.
Initially, you will not want to trust your intuition.
Do so, anyway.
For humans plan one move out, and your soul knows plans for three moves out.
One move out never makes sense, but somehow one move leads to the next, which leads to the next, which leads to the next.
And miraculously, after a few unforeseen moves, your soul was right.
Allow your soul to be the magnetic force pulling you towards healing.
Allow family and friends to help you.
Do what you need to do, for as long as you need to do it.
But while doing so, bring along appreciation and gratitude, as they are healing agents.
So is smiling.
I know human nature makes loving again after a loss seems like self-inflicted torture.
Don’t believe that.
Love is the greatest asset in life.
Human nature also makes a comeback seem impossible.
Don’t believe in human nature, believe in the Divine.
With the Divine all things are possible.
Act as if everything is possible.
Live in awe.
Become the best version of yourself you have ever been.
Be an asset.
Earn your keep.
Say thank you.
Seek to understand.
Have a vision.
Passionately pursue your life’s purpose.
Diligently pursue your life’s passion.
Embrace your age.
Value each increment of time.
Do something good for someone who has no chance of ever being able to repay you.
Touch someone’s soul at every opportunity.
Be happy when others find happiness.
Appreciate the miracle of a new day.
Find extraordinary in the ordinary.
Recognize the divine in everything.
Reacquaint with an old friend.
Be a good friend.
Be an integral part of your family.
Be intimate with your loved one.
Hug someone an extra second longer than you usually would.
Seek to understand others journey.
Learn your parent’s life story.
Make a new friend.
Tap into a universal higher power.
Follow your life’s inner compass.
Help a lost soul find their way.
Improve the quality of other people’s lives.
Mentor a child.
Keep a person company who is down on their luck.
Get one with nature.
Care for animals.
Pick up the phone.
Send the email.
Mail the letter.
Send the thank you note.
Run into the person in the grocery store isle instead of dodging them.
Eliminate distance in your relationships.
Show up unexpectedly.
Say I’m sorry.
Say I don’t know.
Say I love you.
Make time in your life to be kind.
Help others without their asking.
Overlook others flaws.
Be the difference.
Fight like hell.
Keep your marriage sacred.
Pass along a positive outlook on life to your children.
Be fun to be around.
See the miracle in everything.
Detect fake smiles in others and decipher what pain they are hiding – then do something to make the fake smile turn real.
Hear those who are silently crying out for help and share in and absorb some of their pain.
Surprise someone, for no other reason other than because you can.
Do more than what is expected from you no matter how much is expected from you.
Strive to be the “best you,” you have ever been.
If there is one more thing that you can do – do it.
Solve problems with love.
Add love to everything you do, with everyone you see.
Give love freely.
Give love first.
Open all of your gifts.
Look forward to tomorrow.
Love, right now.
Books by JohnA Passaro
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